This journey has opened many doors to us that I could have never imagined we would be walking through in my wildest dreams. I have a peace that surrounds this journey with Colt now because I can literally see God's hand working daily in his life and in the lives of those he comes in contact with. I know that I am most definitely a little partial when it comes to Colt - but I believe that I can honestly say if you have ever had the pleasure of meeting him, he has brought joy or at least a smile to your day. That is just who he is. He is full of joy, life, love, and peace. Even through everything he has already been through and goes through daily. I pray fervently to be like him.
With that being said, Colt already has the qualities he needs for the journey God set him on. His mother on the other has needed extra prayers and grace from our gracious heavenly father. And he has given it to me countless times. A mother by nature wants to protect and nurture their children. I am guilty of taking this to the extreme by trying to over compensate for the lack of knowledge people have in regards to Colt's diagnosis. To some extent Colt and I live in our own security bubble. What I mean by that is that we have our routine and it works great for us. We are comfortable in our daily activities we have to complete, enjoy seeing his therapists - who have all become such wonderful friends to us(God has blessed us with them all - hands down), and just go about our day as normal - because this is our normal.
Normal. What does that word even mean? This has been another area I have greatly struggled with. As a society we define normal in different ways and its usually based on what makes us comfortable and what we consider to be like us - not different. And I have come to the conclusion that we are not very accepting of someone else's normal if it's not like ours. For example, at our last doctor visit in Nashville we had to take all of Colt's equipment. This is not an easy feat. Colt happily obliged to manning his wheelchair(he loves its), while Justin and I packed in or pushed the stander, gait trainer and backpack full of braces, splints, medicine, etc. We looked like a parade to many I am sure. But once again temptation hit me like a ton of bricks during our march through 3 floors to get to the doctor's office. Unfortunately this appointment was not at the children's hospital - which is much easier because there we are considered the normal. The temptation comes in the eyes of strangers passing pity on a situation that is, I am sure, much different than their everyday lives. And this is not the only way this temptation is shown. It comes everyday in our social spectrum in the form of questions, comments, or the always awful gossiping. It becomes an issue because the people questioning, commenting or gossiping usually have very little knowledge about what they are saying and are usually very uninformed. I, by no means, expect everyone to become experts on cerebral palsy - especially when it has no direct affect on their life. But I do think society as a whole could be a little more compassionate to ALL individuals' differences. Bottom line is that we are ALL different. And would the comments and glances be given if they knew the statistics Colt had against him to survive and thrive? How happy and independent his wheelchair makes him? That he's progressing every single day by walking more and more in his gait trainer? How highly intelligent he is? Or the fact that he is a normal 20 month old that has the same needs, wants and desires like all the others, if only they could see past what they think are physical limitations? Most days are easy for us. The places we normally go love Colt. But I know there will be a day that I can't go with him and protect him. So, after a lot of praying, the best answer I have received from God is to raise Colt to live unoffended. I want Colt to grown up knowing that he is loved and created by God and to never waiver from that. He was designed perfectly by God for his own purpose. (Psalm 139:13-14, Jeremiah 1:5, Galatians 1:15) Not by chance. And that he was given this platform by God for a reason. I do not want Colt to allow people to mistreat him, but to understand that we live in a fallen sinful world that unfortunately does not know the loving hand of our Savior. People may say many things, but none of it matters. We are not here to be people pleasers or live by what they think is right or wrong, but to show the world who our loving Savior is and what he has done for us. And to understand that his life shows so many miracles from God that he is literally a living testimony of his graciousness. I want for Colt to know, without a doubt, that anything is possible with God on his side and to live loved and unoffended. (Psalm 118:6, Psalm 108:13, Hebrews 13:6, Isaiah 41:10, Romans 8:31)
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